It's Always Sunny in Hell
by A Perfect Devil
Summary: Other assorted stories and adventures from Hell. The accompaniment/guide to "Superhell!" contains a myriad of strange and morally grey content. Obviously for adults only!  As is it part of Superhell!, after all.
1. The ABC's of Superhell!

Welcome to "It's Always Sunny in Hell"! If I were to name this something relevant it would be called "The Superhell! Companion" but that title sounded so fucking pretentious that I'd have to punish myself for it. Basically everything in this is technically related to the story Superhell! but doesn't exactly fit into the plot or cut out of the plot. It also has things you can download. It's full of zazz.

The A-B-C's of Superhell!

A is for **Alois Trancy**, who will even after death, will not stop hounding Ciel Phantomhive.

B is for is** bars** and strips clubs that Ciel isn't allowed to be in.

C is for the **contract** that keeps Sebastian enslaved to Ciel for all eternity.

D is for the use of psychedelic **drugs.**

E is for coffee shops, coffee shops **everywhere.**

F is for **fan girls**, who Sebastian hates.

G is for Grell's **gender reassignment surgery**.

H is for **Hell**, which is just a haven for demons and humans with questionable morals.

I is for the **internet** that is the hub for obnoxious stalkers.

J is for **j-walking**, for which William Spears gives out tickets.

K is for **killing** your stalker with a shot to the face.

L is for angry ex** lovers**, who occasionally want to beat faces in.

M is for **mothers**, who are massively overprotective.

N is for the obnoxious **neighbors** Sebastian and Ciel have.

O is for the **OCD grim reaper** that works as Satan's advisor.

P is for **parties** that involve sex, drugs and debauchery.

Q is for **questionable content**, which makes up the entire story.

R is for **rock concerts**.

S is for Sebastian's **stalker**, who he killed and buried in his backyard underneath the koi pond.

T is for** talking cats** who can **time travel.**

U is for **uncomfortable** **glitter-covered stage costumes.**

V is for** Vincent,** who grounds Ciel for questionably reasonable reasons.

W is for _**why would you even write this**_?

X is for** XXXX rated** pornography, that is significantly more dirty than XXX pornography.

Y is for Sebastian's **young master**, who is most likely a pervert.

Z is for religious** zealots** who get fed to the lions Roman empire style.


	2. Playlist1 There's a Dance Party In Hell

_I have made two play lists for Superhell! This is only the tracklist+lyrics for the first half. The download link is at the bottom of the page. The file format is .zip and all tracks are your standard .mp3 file. Please respect all music artists and buy their musically legally. I in no way profit from sharing this and I am simply spreading my love for industrial dance music. Share the your love for industrial dance music by supporting artists._

**"Freeeze!"- Aural Vampire**

We don't need any words.

Whip me hard, stab me with a thorn.

Try harder and I'll never go against you.

Tie me up;

go on and do me!

I am pulling the trigger;

Shoot me in the neck, shoot me like a bird!

Everything that moves is now our catch.

I might even be on the cutting board!

I can hardly ask to have a break

only for today

I never ask

Quietly waiting for my harvest to come

just preparing to shed tears

we are always meeting at this same place

just playing the game "dead" or "alive"

you have shining eyes like a beast

how about a self-sufficient life

let's go on hunting together

we are always meeting at this same place

just playing the game "dead" or "alive"

**Suck It Up- Ayria**

Elimination time pending survival

When it comes to pricks

you take the title

You'll have to suck it up

Suck it up!

Don't you look at me,

I'm not your rival

Just stop!

You're faking it

You find yourself in the same situation

When will you learn to avoid mutilation

You've missed again,

and there's no telling when you will

recover from this one, it's a big deal.

Dead inside is a minor understatement

More like guts scraped

on the edge of the pavement

Tiny words, tiny thoughts

things that make you fear

You play dead,

but we know that you're faking it!

**Stiff Kittens- Blaqk Audio**

We are all still the same dear.

I have owned this life forever,

I'll always remain.

If it's just the same dear,

why have you left before "forever"

yet returned again?

We're one and the same dear,

you were born for this.

Forever forget your restraint.

Remnants of a past here

Pass like light through dust as memories

Fall fleeting like pain.

How it breaks their hearts

That we've made an art

Of desecrating our sanctuaries.

**Kagami Oni- Kaya**

You raise your crimson lips and laugh

And I find the form floating in the dark

Is that of a demon..

I'm begging you, don't turn on the light, for me?

I'm begging you, please, don't expose me

The Devil's mirror depicts my sins

As it cruely reflects my deplorable reality

Glistening with light as if it were laughing

Don't stop, don't say it!

I don't need things like truth and reality

Devour me so nothing remains

Dispair stained in rose red

**Iucidium- GPKISM**

Embrace that pain which you have suffered

I'll be there to watch to watch you fall.

Recall the grace which you given;

I'll be there to take it all.

As the sounds of screams grew louder

I could hardly hear my thoughts.

See the purpose you have lived for

but you find nothing at all.

I could feel this bloody rain

falling down on me;

I see this endless dying dream-

shattered

**ISM- Kozi**

Welcome! Blind happiness people!

The eye of the blind obedience.

Make it dance it. You're lost in a maze

Contredance...

Hedonist, Pessimist, Narcissist, Humanist,

Nihilist, Fetishist, Facist, and me, Meism.

Which one should I chose?

Like the gods said, isn't a bad trip fine?

Which one should I chose?

And the gods say XXXXXX

Domesticated, look!

Beautifully beautiful,

don't you think?

In the Catastrophe you hold in your hands

you will not recognize

I've become someone; overly beautiful,

don't you think?

Only with what's in these hands

It's a catch-22 you cannot recognize.

Go! Ready! Get! Set! Go!

...End of Discussion...

**Hokai Jokyoku- Malice Mizer**

delusion and dream

a moment when reality fades

two voices crossing

memory of red blood

cells tremble

they tremble in pleasure

fate, shrieks, urge, resonance, the end

constraining voices

a temptation toward ruin

all for destruction

all for bloodshed

birth, rule, lust, sequence

a runaway playback of memories

a body that has lost its sences

program crash

out of control

and it repeats all over again

mind, life, scenario, lasting, the end

collapsing thoughts

diminishing vision

resounding heartbeat

approaching silence

birth, rule, lust, sequence

last of the end

**Fink- Angelspit**

Devil eyes

Rakehell child

Rapscallion smile

Thief

He could buy anything with his wallet

But his hunger can only be snatched...by unblessed hands

All that communion with cowards rubbed off

Snort deep and cut another line of credit

Now you've got me playing your undignified stupid game

stupid game, stupid game, stupid game, stupid game

stupid game, stupid game, stupid game, stupid game

stupid game, stupid game, stupid game, stupid game

Fink Liar heart manipulator

Bankrupt the boy just to soil the girl

Suave, villain, sophisticated

Swindling miscreant malefactor

**Red- Pride of Mind**

Crazy dance in temple piercing cold finger

king make midnight scale

don't summon king of night

Incomplete intoxicated smile

Retinal illumination prism caress

The fire danger is manipulated gaze kneel

king make midnight scale

midnight look out his action

Primitive carnival floats into view

The rosy illusions born sky of night

Guided by the rule disappears behind the mask

**Gensou Rakuen- Malice Mizer**

led on by the coldly whispering voice,

across an infinite number of opened doors

I was embraced by blinding light,

the end of a world that overflowed with color

invited to a place of endless time,

this "paradise"

the wind carries the sweet scent of honey on it,

false shadows are made to dance

I drown in the deepest, perverse pleasures

as my demise silently approaches,

I am shrouded in the scent of despair

The end of dream

like a flower blooming in profusion,

even the shadows are gone

swaying endlessly in this dream without end

the black voice that rises in the darkness

secretly tells me of the destruction

the faint scene my mind had created dissolves away

the paradise, light now breaking in, in this time without end...

the paradise, now shrouded in shadow, in this endless dream...

**Ein Speil- Nachtmahr**

I want no mercy!

I want to suffer!

I want to scream and defend myself,

while I am being beaten for no reason,

from someone who has no feelings;

no trust, no sexual desire.

I want it cut my throat,

then my feet

and further vorarbeitet up.

Then,

just before he stabs me in the heart-

I would tell him, in complete despair,

that it will soon be over ...

that it will soon be over ...

that it will soon be over ...

Were you turned on by this, yeah?

You wanted to know it,

I'd have to do it, not!

I should not do it!

Because what it is yet;

Of course, just until they became a nuisance,

but as they wanted!

What is it?

I will cut them to pieces!

Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!

No! No! No! No!

**Download!:**

_(htt)p:/(/www).me(diafire.)co(m/?57yd3d)f6ak(36vww)_

Please remove all the parentheticals.


	3. Playlist2 Tied up and Vacuous

_This is play list number two for Superhell! The previous play list can also be found in this fic. The download link is at the bottom of the page. The file format is .zip and all tracks are your standard .mp3 file. Please respect all music artists and buy their musically legally. I in no way profit from sharing this and I am simply spreading my love for industrial dance music. Share the your love for industrial dance music by supporting artists._

**Eyes Off!- Pzychobitch**

i just wanna tell you this:

things don't happen in the world for bliss

get your eyes off

let the sun go down

any part of it leaves you movin' around

get your eyes off!

every day from nine to five

you think your life's..

you think your life's a lie

get your eyes off don't let your mind behind!

there's many more

left in pieces

to assemble something that you are

it's not too far

it's not too far away

it's what you are

it doesn't matter - all from 9 to 5

get your eyes off!

so close your eyes

to see what you wanna be:

a part of the society

is it a dream you dream

or really what it seems?

**Bleeder- Zombie Girl**

I hear a noise inside my brain it is caressing me

I feel this urge inside my veins it is controlling me

I cannot help myself this body has to feed

I can't control myself I have to see you bleed

it is controlling me

it is controlling me

It is controlling me

It is caressing me

I hear a noise inside my brain it is caressing me

I feel this urge inside my veins it is controlling me

I cannot help myself this body has to feed

I can't control myself I have to see you bleed

**I Luv U- Miss construction**

"Motherfucker, I like that!"

I am so afraid of you

and I don´t know what to do

I don´t like no touch of you

Doesn´t matter - I love you

**Club Domination- Phosgore**

**Industrial Rave Revolution- X-rX**

**Liar (Medical Mix) Emilie Autumn, remix by Angelspit**

I want it

I want to mix our blood

And put it in the ground

So you can never leave

I want it

I want to hold you to the sun

I want to be your faithful one

I want to show you all the beauty

You don't even know you hold

I'm hurting you for your own good

I'd die for you - you know I would

I'd give up all my wealth

To buy you back the soul you never sold

I want it

I want your beautiful suffering

I want to see your pain

I want it

I want your suffering, I want to see your pain.

**Shelter- Icon of Coil**

Punishment for intolerance, so

Entertain us when you're still able to perform

I'm sorry to admit that I won't be around

When the world you created will collapse and drown

Back to the crypt, nothing will last

We'll all fade away, in one single blast

Out from the dust, machines arise

One second left to live and we'll open our eyes.

I can't find shelter in this world

I'm searching for another world

Where I'll feel safe

**Solitary Heaven- Anders Manga**

The kind words that you have always spoken

Are the last words that you will be choking down

You've been away too long

The sweat pores from your swollen flesh

As you gasp for a deeper breath

You've been away for far too long

The last laugh you're anticipating

And the burned out hate you are escalating

Is all because you've been away too long

The empty souls and the maverick fakers

Have been pulled out by the undertakers

And you know you've been away too long

in solitary heaven don't walk on by

The sky is crying sin

In solitary heaven the victimized

Are bound by knots from within

In solitary heaven the wind won't cry

The walls are falling in

**Burn, Witch, Burn!- Ego Likeness**

The truth is subjective

And the court has lost perspective

And what is your objection here?

Fear's only fear if that's what you call it

But what do you call it if you cannot speak?

Fear isn't real unless you invoke it

So how can you blame it if you don't believe?

Pain isn't pain unless that's what you name it

But how do you name it if you cannot speak?

Pain isn't real unless you invoke it

So how can you suffer if you don't believe?

Speak your mind and deny all the things

That you have done

You are guilty

You are found guilty of every crime

Under the sun

**King of the World- Porcelain and the Tramps**

My painfilled drama queen it is always screaming at your bed

Getting ready to buy you out

'Cause I'm the fucking king of the world

Get on your knees

I'm the fucking king of the world

Do as I please

So get up and get out and I'll show you

what it means for me to control you

'Cause I'm the fucking king of the world

Keep your head down

Untill I tell you to speak

And not giving me the run around

When you fall back

Unto my coffin

No you shoulda stayed outta my way

Do Not Test me

Bow to me at my feet you'll bow to me

**Bumaye- KMFDM**

Beautiful and twisted, couldn't help be drawn in

Fearlessly, bold determination

Only trouble you have been

Carry murder in your heart

Like poetry, a work of art

Knew just how this would end

From the very start

Shame on you

Cut me 'til I bleed, taking more than what you need

Apathy, an omen, forewarning

Couldn't help but heed the call

Your prize possession skeletons

So many secrets, I'm surprised you haven't choked

I've learned a thing or two about your sick devotion

So there's no misunderstanding, I'm on to you

**Queen of Decadence- Schwarzstein**

My skin torn by the brambles

And scattering petals to and fro

I fought my way here to get you.

Ah, at long last I've found you!

My darling, beloved slave

Now come and stand before me

It's no longer do any good trying to run away

So Just this way, for eternity

Kindly lose yourself in me

And until our bodies dry away

By your side I promise to stay

And I'll grant you scars that will never fade

**Download: **

(http):/(/www).media fir(e.c)om/?n(4mq59al1)uqcxjw

Remove the parentheticals for the download.


	4. profile: Melissa Roswell

**Name**: Melissa Rosewell/Roswell

**Age:** 21

**Gender**: female

**Height**: 5' 11"

**Weight:** 280 lbs

**Eye Color**: blue

**Hair Color**: dirty blonde, past the shoulder, greasy and frizzy in texture

**Species**: human

Melissa is a girl who at one point in time was in a contract with Sebastian. During the time they spent together she spent most of it using him like a personal sex doll. After terminating said contract, Sebastian then killed her and she was sent to hell. Once she was reincarnated on hell, she dedicated all her spare time and energy into not only stalking Sebastian, but writing 'fan fiction' under the false name_ 'Virgin of the Luna'_ or_ 'Virgin of the Lunar Eclipse'_ in which she and him are still lovers. Most of this writing is sexually explicit. She only writes and publishes fiction of him with other people, including, especially, Ciel. According her literary critics, her writing is a purple prose abomination though she still maintains a strong following of fans who are ready to gobble up any bullshit she makes.

After befriending Grell Sutcliffe, she moved in with her next door to Sebastian. She often stalks Sebastian and writes him love letters. She also is the president of his online fan club. She was recently murdered by Ciel Phantomhive, and then buried underneath a koi pond in Sebastian's backyard.

In order to avoid a fine for killing her, the members of the band Super Hell has taken to updating her fan clubs for her and have become ghost writers in order to maintain the appearance that she is still alive.


	5. profile: Lucille

**Name**: Lucille/Lucy/Lucifer/Satan/Devil/El Diablo (Prefers Lucy or Lucille.)

**Age**: Unknown (estimated in the millions)

**Gender:** female

**Height**: 5'

**Weight**: 89 lbs

**Eye Color**: red

**Hair Color:** red

**Species**: god-like being

Lucy goes by many, many names but no matter what you call her, she is still the same Ol' Scratch. Despite her less than great reputation on earth, Lucy is considered by many to be a very kind person who judges people fairly and if often quite forgiving to those who_ deserve_ it. She sympathizes with Grell Sutcliffe more than most people ever would, because she at one point was in a male body but has since changed to a more appropriate body. In order to convince William T. Spears to work as her advisor, she offered to give Grell a full body sex change under the cost that he would work for her for one hundred years. As a boss, she is very fair, pays well and gives William a fraction of his normal work hours for more than double his original pay. Her previous advisor was Jeff, and before Jeff it was Beelzebub. THe advisor plays an important role in that they often bounce ideas off Satan, help do paperwork and schedule events.

As the overseer of Hell, and an omnipotent god-like being, Lucy is a very busy woman. She works near constantly with very little down time. However, in the few times she gets a chance to take time off, she is mot often seen spending the time her friends. Lucille is a very social person but because of the entire 'being satan' thing, she feels bad for not being able to spend more time with others. While being aligned with demons, Lucille often supports the idea of helping the human race advance itself and discourages anti-human behavior amongst the population in hell. Her intentions with the human race are unusually pure and she often publicly bashes god and shouts out against him for trying to 'enslave the human race with ignorance'. She supports a democratic society, but technically rules over hell as a dictator. Though if Hell ever had an election, there is a good chance that she would win every time, making elections a useless process.

Lucille is talented as a politician and is very, charismatic. In addition to this, she is more than willing to provide a support both economically and socially for almost any society that asks her nicely enough, with interest of course. The interest being rights to annex the land as part of her territories as well as the rights for demons in hell to use the land as a vacation resort if they so chose. However, if a society or race declines visitors she will more than often accept and respect their decision and make it so that others will not bother them. He tolerant nature has led to her great success in matter of intergallactic politics. Her main flaw however, is that she often times walks along the line inbetween being an over-enthusiastic workaholic and being an evil dictators out for universal domination.


	6. profile: Jeff

**Name**: Jeff

**Age**: unknown

**Gender**: male

**Weight**: 20 lbs

**Eye Color**: brown

**Fur Color**: orange with white splotches, short hair

**Species**: cat, Scottish fold pure bred, single fold (floppy) ears

Jeff was made by Lucy in a litter of cats that were bred to be 'the perfect pets'. This project was done to breed species of earth animals that could handle the temperatures and climate of hell. After the litter Jeff was born into, the project was put on hiatus so Lucille could raise her kittens in a less formal environment than a laboratory. Jeff is considered to be such a success that it was a failure. Jeff has an extremely high intelligence quotient, putting his average intelligence wellabove thato f the average demon. Because of this, instead of being a pet Jeff was put to work as Lucy's advisor for many years and is considered the most successful of the advisers. He then quit his job and found a home with Ciel and Sebastian because all he really wants in life is to be a house cat. His personality however, prevents him from being a good pet and he often loses his temper with Sebastian, who he deems to be both stupid and a douche bag. Jeff feels fairly isolated and considers his only friend to be Lucille, with his 'buddies' to be Party Cat, Smokey and Beelzebub.

Jeff has the ability to warp space and time around him. Because of this, he often time travels and travels to earth where he studies humans. Because of his ability to travel time, Jeff is often hyper-aware of how time and time measurement works but he often disregards it as being completely useless to him. Jeff is a professor of human studies in the earth year 2034, and often tells this to people despite them not believing him. Jeff considers his position as a cat to benefit his studies and claims that he is able to study human nature from a perspective that nobody else can have. He often takes sympathy for the human race and cites them as being so flawed by nature that he can't help but pity them. Jeff has also learned to shape-shift into a human form, but he absolute hates doing so. However, when he does "become human" he resembles a short, chubby ginger with a hilter youth hair cut, big hipster glasses, "ironic" tshirts, cargo shorts, and every other hipster/indie stereotype first. However, he doesn't consider himself to be a hipster because he went back in time to do it first.

He has many, many skills. Jeff always makes it his number one priority to be really, really good at whatever he does and often studies things in detail before doing them. He is often ambitious when it comes to learning things but to everything else he is incredibly lazy. Jeff often demands that other people wait on him hand and foot. Even though he is a cat, he is able to work many household appliances such as the coffee maker, laptops, books and he is even able to play the keyboard. Though most of the time he asks for others to do these things for him anyways because while he can do them proficiently, it takes far more time than it should.


	7. profile: Smokey and Party Cat

**Name**: Smokey

**Age:** unknown

**Gender**: male

**Height**: 11"

**Weight**: 12 lbs

**Eye Color**: orange

**Hair Color**: grey, medium hair

**Species:** cat, Scottish fold pure bred. Double fold ears

Smokey is one of Jeff's littermates. He is above average intelligence but he is not nearly as smart as Jeff is. Smokey likes to smoke and write murder mystery novels. He is rather gloomy and pessimistic and almost always in a foul mood. He has recently made friends with William T. Spears, and considers the man to have fine, though pretentious taste in literature.

**Name**: Party Cat

**Age:** unknown

**Gender**: female

**Height**: 10"

**Weight**: 10 lbs.

**Eye Color**: green

**Hair Color**: grey and white, short hair

**Species:** cat, Scottish fold purebred. Unfolded ears.

Party Cat is litter mates with Jeff and Smokey. Party Cat is considered to be 'mentally retarded' by Jeff and Smokey, which only means that she is a perfectly normal cat of normal cat intelligence. She is not able to speak like Jeff and Smokey with the exception of a single word which is "party". She often wears either a party hat or a bow around her neck. She is very cuddly and likes to attend parties where she is often considered to be the life of the party. It isn't a good party until Party Cat comes in. Party Cat can be often seen running freely around hell and she is often given free food just for being so damn cute.


	8. A Very Fucked Up Halloween Special

_Wishing you all a happy, debauchery-filled Halloween! And a little warning- the title is not a lie or stretching of the truth._  
><em>-Vi<em>

Ciel was doing what are hardworking ambitious musicians did; the mindless browsing of internet webpages while Sebastian did all the real work. He looked at the screen and studied the video he was watching closely. Something seemed familiar. Was that the wall paper in the bus's bedroom? And suddenly it had dawned on Ciel that he was watching a rather, well, risque video featuring none other than Alois and Claude. Of course they were both wearing masks to hide their identities but there was no mistaking that wall paper and Ciel's rather distinct looking violin hanging out in the background.

There was always the question as to what they were doing, the answer to which was something that was interesting enough for Sebastian to walk over and stare the screen.

"Why are you watching_ 'man gets his ass stuffed up to the elbow'_ master?" Sebastian asked.

"I just stumbled upon by accident and it turns out that Claude and Alois have been amking pornographic clips in the tour bus."

"You do realize how specific of a video that is 'accidently stumble upon'?" Sebastian asked.

"Well I just happen to have strange luck."

"So if I go through your internet history there will not be similar links?"

The sounds of Ciel erasing his browser history was really the only answer anyone could ever ask for. Sebastian looked closer at the screen, and what he saw was enough to shock him but not for normal shock-value reasons. Of course there was the rather explicit nature of the video (and these were the times high definition was not always the best definition) which could be described as obscene. Obscene in the way of a grown having Alois _literally _elbow deep with both of his arms into his ass and moaning so loudly that Sebastian wasn't quite sure how their secret porno hobby wasn't discovered sooner. Well, the title of video wasn't lying.

Then ofcourse Alois pulls out an item that Sebastian is more than familiar with. A the black electric mixer. Sebastian's black electric mixer with the hard and smooth plastic sides and two detachable metal whisks that churched together. The _very fucking expensive_, top-of-the-line mixer that might Sebastian add, was _very_ fucking expensive. The mixer that matched all of his kitchen wear. He was proud of his matching black kitchen ware. Alois and Claude desecrated that pride with their kinky shenanigans. Alois, if such an action could be described as gentle, inserted the two beaters into Claude's ass and turned it on gently. Sebastian swore in that moment, that he could fucking kill them.

The noise that an electric mixer makes when inserted into the anus and then turned on is nothing short of horrifying. It sounds a lot like someone's internal organs being mashed up into some sloshing mangled mess that would kill any human being, if not make them beg to be put out of their misery. But Claude fucking loves it. The sound of the motor in the mixer straining against Claude's lower intestine could be heard. The sticky, whirring, slimy, smacking sound of stirring the macaroni and cheese dinner from hell with some faint crunching and screaming sounds in the background was an accurate description of what an electric mixer in Claude's ass sounded like.

"That bastard..." Sebastian muttered as he watched his mixer meet a grave end in Claude's rear end.

Sebastian is enraged, and Ciel is thoroughly mentally scarred though the both of them continued to look on in horror and in morbid curiosity. Claude was now clutching the sheets on the bed (the very same sheets that Sebastian was pretty sure he had just washed) and drooling on them, while screaming, while crying hysterically, while Alois sodomized him with an electrical kitchen appliance. A kitchen appliance, that didn't even belong to either of them, for that matter. The grave disrespect they had for other people's things was truly ass-tounding.

"I bet they didn't even wash it after." Ciel said.

"Well, I guess I have to buy a new mixer and hope Jeff doesn't consume the pudding I mixed with it this morning."

"I have no idea how anyone could eat chocolate pudding again after watching that." Ciel said.

"Sup faggots. I'm throwing a Halloween party up in this bitch so it's time to turn this tour bus into a motherfucking party bus." Jeff said as he dragged in a plastic bag full of streamer, confetti and probably some heavy narcotics as well into the room.

"Why are you throwing a Halloween party?" Ciel asked.

"Because I really wanted to wear this Doctor Who costume." Jeff explained, swishing his tail. He sat like a dapper british time-traveler in his beige suit and red fez as he dumped the contents of the bag on the floor for Sebastian to pick up.

"_Why?_" Ciel had to ask again.

"Because fezzes are fucking cool." Jeff told him and smacked him the face with his paw. "Now go put on a costume, you lazy fuck!" Jeff told him and Ciel trudged off to his wardrobe to mash up together some half-assed closet cosplay so Jeff would stop bitching.

Sebastian had turned their small cramped tour bus into what could be considered a decent enough place to fit a few extra people for a party. His nice furniture was put in the bedroom, his mixer was thrown into the trash, and there was enough glitter and confetti floating around the bus to choke anyone that actually needed to breathe. Surely, enough Alois walked in and he was entirely unphased by the glitter and from what Sebastian could tell, completely naked. He had enough for seeing Alois naked for one day already, and he wasn't up for anymore naked anorexic boys.

"What is your costume, Lord Godiva?" Sebastian asked.

"No, I'm a disco ball." Alois said as he lifted up his penis to reveal his testicles, covered with silver sequins and glitter. "Get it? Because I glued sequins to my balls."

"How very clever of you..." Sebastian commented with his usual snarky tone.

"Hey every one, look at me!" Ciel shouted, opening the door to reveal the costume he had put together from his closet. Well, technically Sebastian's closet. "I'm an emotionally stunted jackoff who wears too many pairs of false eye lashes and has a freaky obsession with cats!" Sebastian glared at him, with not the slightest bit of amusement to be found.

"Oh yes, what a well thought out costume that is." Sebastian said, rolling his eyes.

"Hey Alois, I'm feeling like taking a few dozen blurry pictures of myself at strange angles and posting them on facebook." Ciel commented.

"I have never done that." Sebastian said.

"Oh yes you do." Alois said, getting out his cellphone and shoving it in Sebastian's face. "Fifty-two photo albums, of just pictures of your face! And your makeup isn't any good in any of these photographs at all." he said.

"I just don't know what you're talking about, I think I look fabulous all the time!" Ciel said, trying his best to fake Sebastian's voice and failing to do quite miserably. He batted his long false eyelashes in a mirror while resting his hand on his hip and fawned over himself.

"I do not act like that."

"Yeah you fucking do." Alois said, imitating Ciel's gestures. "This is totally how you act. You're so goddamn fae you don't even fucking realize it!"

"I am not fae." Sebastian said. "I act like a perfectly normal man, thank you very much."

"Actually," Jeff interjected him. "Sebastian seems so fae to Alois and Ciel because they grew up in a rather human culture which prides itself on the difference between the two main genders. The closer to male or closer to female you are, the more attractive you get with androgyny being considered abnormal. Demon culture however despite holding an almost infinite amount of gender identities, seems to only focus on the fact that women are beautiful and seems to deny any sort of merit in masculine features. So technically Sebastian isn't acting all that fae at all when you consider that masculinity is frowned upon and generally shunned in his culture." Jeff explained.

Though his doctorate was in _human_ history, not demon history, he knew enough of both of them to be able to coherently explain the difference between them. Still, Ciel and Alois sat there like deer in the headlights that didn't know what to say or do and probably weren't even paying or attention ro hell, smart enough to figure out what Jeff was saying.

"Is this making any sense to you?" Jeff finished off.

"So that is that why demon women won't sleep me?" Ciel asked.

"No, they won't sleep with you because you have a small penis." Jeff said, frustrated. There was no making sense to anyone with an IQ of under 140. Or perhaps _'You must be this smart in order to communicate with Jeff'_.

"I do not have a small penis." Ciel said. Alois laughed and Ciel glared at him.

"Well, you don't exactly look quite as good in Seb's thong." Alois said.

"Nobody does." Sebastian said.

"Sebs you need to get in the spirit of things. Get a costume on." Jeff said.

"Please excuse me if I am not feeling 'the spirit' of this asinine holiday." Sebastian him.

"Shut the fuck up and get snazzy with it." Jeff said.

Sebastian groaned and stormed off, being his normal gloomy self then shortly returned to the room wearing Ciel's clothing and a pair of fake horns on his head. Alois and Jeff thought this was riotously funny, but Ciel only scowled back at him.

"Oh yes, that's really original, Sebastian." Ciel said.

"Well why would I ever bother being original when all I have to do is play violin concertos written by other people against background music someone else made?" Sebastian asked.

"You can just pretend to be each other all night. It'll be fuckin' hilarious." Alois suggested.

"Oh man, that is fucking hilarious. Do that." Jeff said.

Sebastian and Ciel scowled at each other. It was definitely a game of war between the two of them and may the best badly-dressed over dramatic actor win. Claude holding a bag full of groceries (and by groceries, it was clearly meant that he was holding more drugs and alcohol than was needed to kill an entire city of demons) and staring oddly at the two of them. It was obvious that they were in costume but Claude couldn't quite tell if they were doing it because it was funny (and it was) or because they had pissed each other off and were now being obnoxiously sarcastic about it while still being appropriately dressed for the holiday.

"Let me guess, you idiots are having a lover's spat?" Claude asked.

"Oh no, of course not." Ciel replied, swaying his wrists back and forth. "I'm just being a gloomy depressive goth who has no idea what celebration is."

"And I shall celebrate the holiday by becoming completely intoxicated and then wandering about like a sex-depraved lunatic with no real purpose in life with the sole exception of gross social misconduct." Sebastian said, crossing his arms.

"Well then I will leave you two by yourselves to talk this out by having hate-filled sexual intercourse." Claude told them, dropping the bag on the table for them while he and Alois added even more glitter and more streamers and more tinsel because clearly the amount that they currently had simply was not enough to satisfy them.

"Okay you people suck. I'm telling party cat to send out invitations." Jeff said.

"We can not fit that many people in this bus." Sebastian said. "We could not fit that many in my house. We nearly caused a riot the last time you asked your sister to invite people over."

"Relax, Sebs. Put all your faith in good ol' Jeffy. The paw of softness commands it." Jeff told him and rubbed his paw against Sebastian's cheek.

"Fine." Sebastian, crossing his arms and pouring himself Ciel's favorite drink, rum and earl grey, which he didn't particularly care for but he was acting in character.

"Hellooo everyone~" Lucy cheered, suddenly showing up in their kitchen wearing a large pink ball gown, a silver crown and holding a scepter.

"What are you supposed to be?" Jeff asked.

"Glinda the good witch, of course. Don't know you know how popular I am?" Lucille explained, swishing her hoop skirts back and forth.

"Nice. I'm the doctor." Jeff said.

"Awww. I was hoping that you'd dress up as Fry again." Lucille lamented. "You just looked so darn cute with your little Bender toy."

"Yeah but I have a fez now. It's fucking cool." Jeff said.

"Do you really throw Halloween parties every year just so you can come up with new time travel related costumes?" Sebastian asked.

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. What the fuck does it matter to you, anyway?" Jeff asked.

"Well, Jeff has been every incarnation of Doctor Who, Rip Van Winkle, Philip Fry, and thanks to a time paradox, both Bill _and_ Ted one year." Lucille said. "I do think it is delightfully ironic though."

"See, I'm delightfully ironic." Jeff said.

"More like delightfully hipster." Sebastian told him.

"I wonder where Alois and Claude went off to." Ciel said.

"Somewhere over the faggot-covered rainbow to play '_Dr. Franken Furter and Kid With Glitter on His Balls Have Raunchy Pedophile Sex_.'" Jeff said.

"Jeff. What did I tell you about using homophobic slurs?" Lucy asked.

"Claude is a motherfucking homo pedophile pansy-ass queerio rapist fairy faggot cockmunching fence-sitting fudge-packing sodomite."

"_JEFF._" Lucille scolded him.

"You forgot ladies' lingerie wearing needle-prick." Sebastian added in.

"If I hear one more slur today..." Lucille threatened.

"Hey, queens!" Vincent said, opening up the door with a six pack of beer in his hand wearing a Dracula costume that was a cheap satin cape, skimpy underwear and nothing else.

"Suck to be you, bro." Jeff said, as he trotted by Vincent and pushed the door shut.

Everyone had been gathered (forcefully) into the living room where Lucille had whipped the party into shape the way she saw fit with everyone grudgingly getting along for fear that she'd actually act out the punishment of removing their genitalia and keeping it as a trophy.

"Now who wants to bob for apples?" Lucille asked a little too cheerfully.

Nobody responded for a few seconds, until Claude raised his hand and grasped an apple with his teeth. Jeff responded to this by jumping on Claude's head, successfully keeping him under water for a few minutes and then jumping off of him to find a very pissed off, water logged demon with now unforgivably frizzy hair glaring death upon him. Jeff leaped unto his mother's shoulder and stuck his tongue out at Claude.

"Faggot."

"Cat." Claude responded.

"I just love touching cats all day." Ciel said.

"Your acting is awful." Lucille told him. Ciel pouted. He thought he had made a good enough Sebastian but Ciel was probably the only one who thought that.

"Despite my servant's ineptitude, I would like to say that I am able to act."

"You suck at acting too." Lucille told Sebastian. "All of you are a bunch of morally bankrupt jack offs who probably can't be around each other in a room for a minute without tearing at each other's throats. I have no idea how you manage to function as a musical group but I can tell you this- it doesn't work very fucking well." she left the bus in a huff, not particularly interested in their arguments to prove hat they were something more than what she had described them to be.

"You people suck." Dietrich commented, getting his one and only line.

"Shut up." Vincent said.

"You both shut the hell up." Jeff told the both them.

And so, the bickering never came to an end. Then again, any story lacking conflict would be horridly, mind-numbingly dull and who would read something like that?


	9. Drugs and Superhell

When I addressed the whole "Alois is disturbed, how the fuck is he able to function in a modern society as a performer and an artist if he has breakdowns all the time" issue, I did it a little bit differently. A lot of fanfics gloss over the whole Alois's severe mental disorder, which is boring. Alois is crazy, use it for a plot device! I'm sort of fascnated by brain chemistry and science, so like the rest of Superhell!, the explanations have a modernish sort of treatment to them. Claude just gives Alois a bunch of antipsychotics and sedatives and puts him on a strict drug-taking schedule, a strict diet, a strict sleep schedule, and whatever else it takes to make it so that Alois's psychotic fucking breakdowns don't happen. As far as my own headcanon goes... Alois has a very serious case borderline personality disorder. A better name for it however is "emotional instability disorder". He's severely unstable and pretty much even the smallest thing can make him flip the fuck out and assault you. Obviously, this is shown in season two of anime enough that I don't really need to explain why I thought of this one to use. Bipolar disorder would also work but bipolar deals more with moods and manic cycles, that come and go and generally are uncontrollable and happen on their own. Borderline more or less is impacted by environments and does not follow a cyclic pattern like bipolar usually does. Plus having bipolar disorder is so _mainstream. _

Though after all my personal life experiences with being a crazy person, I will say now that I do not recommend psychiatric drugs for anyone that can helped with other methods. Yes it is easier to just pop a pill but the side effects are horrible, it fucks up your health in the long term, and makes you so dependent on them that you'd be better off trying to quit heroin cold turkey. Though some people really do need them, and I'm not saying that for those of you that do need them that you're any less or that you suck for needing psychiatric drugs, You're not. Telling someone who needs to take psychiatric drugs they don't need them is like calling a diabetic a pussy for needing insulin. If you need it, you need it but most people with mental illnesses can have effective treatments that don't involved dangerous drugs. Yet, the stance in Superhell! coincides with own dislike for psychiatric drugs. The way that they're used with Claude and Alois reflects how I feel they are used improperly for patients. I do not paint a positive picture for them, but I'm not trying discourage anyone who needs help from getting it with my stories.

But when heavy medications that greatly alter people's brain chemistry are advertised and prescribed like fuckin' tylenol, it bothers me. Because taking zoloft or atavan or lithium is NOTHING like taking an NSAID, they are dangerous drugs. They can really fuck you up, and do so even worse than a lot of illegal recreational drugs can. I say this, having detoxed off anti psychotics, pain killers, stimulants and a slew of other drugs I probably shouldn't have been on. Which is why what Claude is doing by drugging Alois up on multiple psychiatric drugs without paying much attention to his health as whole is so horrible. Because even though Alois does have several mental conditions that would require extensive help to get over, Claude just drugs him up until he's obedient and doesn't care otherwise.

Which sadly, is how a lot of people that go through the mental health system are treated. I'm not ging to pull an Emilie Autumn here and say that all doctors are bad, that drugs are bad and that nothing has changed since the 1800's, but I will say that most mental patients, after a certain point just get pills thrown at them. They're considered lost causes and it's cheaper and easier for a doctor to thrown drugs at them until they're silent than to give them a good, comprehensive treatment that gets down to the sources of the problems, whether it be past trauma or hormonal inbalance in the brain. In Hell, there is plenty of access to proper mental health care, just like there is in modern America. But the culture surrounding it really prevents those who need help from getting any real help or treatments that are truly effective in the long term.

Alois isn't getting taken care of properly cared for by Claude because Claude doesn't give half of a fuck about him in the long run, and only medicates him because it's easier to deal with Alois when he's doped up and can't argue or fight back. If you really want to pretend that I put any real thought into this story, Alois is sort of a comparison to how a lot of mental patients are treated by the modern health care system. Drug them, shut them up, make sure they won't cause trouble, and don't actually bother to treat them like they deserve proper respect or care. They emphasis is never put on how to improve the patient, the emphasis is always how to fix them and how to do it cheaply and easily.

Alois's drug treatment actually does work. It's pretty obvious in Superhell! that his moods have become more stable and he's less prone to meltdowns. But the price of that is his health and becoming chemically dependent on drugs and in the future, Alois won't be able to handle himself if he's ever in a condition were he can no longer receive the drugs. Which may or may not be addressed in future chapters or sequels to Superhell!. My own personal experience with psychiatric drug withdrawl was absolute torture, and my drugs were some of the less addicting ones. Also, if you want to add in more mental illness commentary, I sort of suggest that Sebastian has major depression that was triggered by the whole 'enslaved forever by Ciel' thing. Then again, who the fuck _wouldn't _get suicidally depressed if put in his situation?

And if we're going to mention suicide and demon culture, demons are actually cool with it. Suicide is actually their #1 cause of death because most of them live forever and can't stand it. It's not a social taboo for them to kill themselves or have a close friend kill them. It is not considered cowardly or selfish for them to die willfully. However, they still do have a stigma around mental illness, since most demons that go insane just tend to kill themselves instead of getting treated for it. It's not common and most of the psychiatric treatment in hell are geared towards sentient races from other planetary systems or humans. But demon and human brain chemistry is similar enough that the drugs they use are the same, but delivered in different dosages.


	10. Cameos From My Original Fiction

**Lucille-** Is actually taken from the first book I ever wrote. I envisioned Lucifer a young god growing up with Kevin (christian god), and as he grew he not only fell in love with Kevin, but also realized that he wasn't even a boy. So Lucifer became Lucille and started wearing girly clothes, makeup and fashionable hair cuts. Kevin thought she was disgusting and vile after finding this out and broke all ties with her, thus causing the split between them. Her design is based off Julie Newmar's role as the devil in The Twilight Zone. Except with pink/red hair.

**Kevin- **Referred to in the same book as Lucille but never outright mentioned. He is the christian god, the white, christian god. And a complete jerkoff.

**Jeremy-** Also from my novels, and he gets a few cameos in a few of my fics along with Lucille. He shows on the boat contest arc and in the sequel.

**Pandora-** Shows up in the sequel very briefly.

**Machiavelli**- From Dr. Kale, he plays a semi-important role in the sequel to Superhell! and the barely related in between story "Nitropsychotic". Though in the books he's from Machiavelli is a very sympathetic, relateable and pitable character, in _King of the Hell,_ he's sorta' interpreted by Ciel and Alois as a selfrighteous asshole.

**Ashelynn/Alistaire**- Alistaire is a sentient parasitic alien that lives on his human host, Ashelynn. Alistaire was one of the winner for the cruise competition, and Ashelynn got dragged along by default because Alistaire is permanently attached and reliant on using his nervous system.

**Myself-** Many, many times. I'm shocked most people don't catch all my cameos. The most obvious one is in the cruise competition arc, where a make-up loving vampire named Vivien who is a gossip who chain smokes is mentioned. Jeff is also a bit of a mary-sue selfinsert OC.


End file.
